Monday, October 14, 2013

Now What?

It’s been 22 days since I’ve run. As I said in my last couple of posts, life has gotten in the way. What’s interesting about this is that running should take precedence over not doing anything because I know it will make me feel better. I’m done with my cold so no excuse there. I’ve taken to eating for comfort since my mom died three weeks ago. Of course this isn’t good at all because no exercise + eating badly = feeling like crap. I know this but haven’t gotten myself out there yet. I need to learn to stop being so hard on myself. My emotions over the loss of my mom are always on the surface just waiting to spill out. Running would help this, I know that. It’s going to just be a matter of getting myself out there. Getting dressed, getting the shoes on, getting my headphones on, getting out there. I ran a lot when she was alive. Doing it now almost seems odd even though I did the half marathon three days after she passed. I was in such a fog that I don’t remember a lot of it.

Now what?

I need to run for me. I need to feel like a runner again instead of thinking about when I’m going to eat next. I know that’s sad but well, I’ve been through a lot the last few weeks and I figure it this way, it could be much, much worse. I’ll get out there when I’m ready. I really hope it will be soon though. I miss it.

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