Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Instant Gratification

Do we all live in our own worlds of wanting instant gratification? I believe I live in that world when it comes to many things including my running and losing weight.

I’m trying to “enjoy the journey” as they say but it’s been harder than usual lately. I’m not completely sure why but I think some of the factors may be how I grew up. I grew up always overweight and not active. Spending all that time in that state just wore on me. Sure, there were many times I would try to eat better and exercise, trying various ways of either going on a specific diet that may or not include starving myself but nothing ever really changed for the long-term.

As the years went by I got heavier and heavier and more and more sedentary. Food was a crutch for me. It’s where I went for emotional support. Of course it’s only an instant gratification thing but it did the trick for a few minutes. Soon afterwards I would go back to feeling the feeling that lead me to eating in the first place. What a vicious cycle!

Do I have it all figured out now that I’ve lost 115 lbs and taken up running? Nope. But I think I go about becoming a healthier person in a better, safer way now. I think my new issue is that for once in my life I’m actually not too far from my goal weight. It’s like I can almost touch it and know I can reach it which makes me want it yesterday even more. Even more than just the losing weight is the running. I want to be a marathon runner yesterday too.

Why can’t I just be happy with the process?

I don’t know why. I need to start working on that.

The other question I need to ask myself is what will happen once I reach that goal weight? Will there be fireworks and balloons? Will the world stop spinning and everyone will sing me a song? Nope. That’s not going to happen but of course it will be nice to meet that goal. My point is, will I just stop eating better and taking care of myself once I hit that goal? I don’t think so. I just need work on enjoying everything I can do now that I couldn’t do before. I need to run for me and run for the people who can’t. I need to remember how far I’ve come in a short amount of time and continue to be the person I want and strive to be.

1 comment:

  1. You are doing great! Keep up the great work, life is full of goals!