I’m trying to “enjoy the journey” as they say but it’s been harder than usual lately. I’m not completely sure why but I think some of the factors may be how I grew up. I grew up always overweight and not active. Spending all that time in that state just wore on me. Sure, there were many times I would try to eat better and exercise, trying various ways of either going on a specific diet that may or not include starving myself but nothing ever really changed for the long-term.
As the years went by I got heavier and heavier and more and more sedentary. Food was a crutch for me. It’s where I went for emotional support. Of course it’s only an instant gratification thing but it did the trick for a few minutes. Soon afterwards I would go back to feeling the feeling that lead me to eating in the first place. What a vicious cycle!
Do I have it all figured out now that I’ve lost 115 lbs and taken up running? Nope. But I think I go about becoming a healthier person in a better, safer way now. I think my new issue is that for once in my life I’m actually not too far from my goal weight. It’s like I can almost touch it and know I can reach it which makes me want it yesterday even more. Even more than just the losing weight is the running. I want to be a marathon runner yesterday too.
Why can’t I just be happy with the process?
I don’t know why. I need to start working on that.
The other question I need to ask myself is what will happen once I reach that goal weight? Will there be fireworks and balloons? Will the world stop spinning and everyone will sing me a song? Nope. That’s not going to happen but of course it will be nice to meet that goal. My point is, will I just stop eating better and taking care of myself once I hit that goal? I don’t think so. I just need work on enjoying everything I can do now that I couldn’t do before. I need to run for me and run for the people who can’t. I need to remember how far I’ve come in a short amount of time and continue to be the person I want and strive to be.